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If it isn't the cruelest, it's still one of the crueler ones.

[ Oh, but this - his sweet friend. Armin was made for knowledge, for taking pictures, for playing in the ocean. He's not someone who should have been made to fight a war, to cut himself into cruel shapes until he could be a better soldier. ]

Armin. You don't have to apologize. You can talk to me about this.

I know Jean doesn't want to know what happens in the future. I do - even if it's terrible and cruel. If that's something I can do here, to help you bear the burden, I want to. Please. Even if it's just listening to you talk about it.

Edited 2023-12-14 20:55 (UTC)

That's kind of you, Marco.

[And of course it is. This is Marco he's talking about. Still, Armin has learned to keep what's inside inside, and only show the outside what's safe to present. He wasn't always this way. He wasn't always such a liar. But he is now. He's had to be. Marco says what he says, and Armin believes that he means it; what he doesn't believe is that Marco realizes what a true monster Armin has become, will always be. He doesn't want Marco to see him that way.]

I wish I didn't have to tell you those terrible, cruel things, Marco. I wish there were only good things to tell you.

You had such high hopes for the future. I think we all failed you.

[ Marco knows that a lot of his friends have changed, and done things they're not proud of. Soon, he'll learn how bad and how far it goes, and Armin will be right; it will be worse than he thought. ]

I can understand that you wish you had better news. I've mentioned before I have to be the one to have hope.

I don't think any of you failed me, because... because I don't think you all should be trying to live up some ideal that I had. I told Jean I was happy he carried my memory with him, and I do mean that... but I'm just me. You don't have to live up to my dreams.

I wanted too, Marco. Because I love you.

We all did. Because we all do.

[ Why does that choke him up so much? He knows they all love him, at the very least platonically. If they didn't, they wouldn't still be carrying him this many years later.

It still feels nice to hear, though. ]

I love you too. All of you.

I suppose it'd be cruel of me to tell you not to if it's what you want... but please don't feel guilt if you don't live up to it.

I have a lot of guilt, Marco. For a lot of things.

[It's unbelievable. It's unbearable. It's all-consuming.]

Whether I can forgive myself for any of it, I don't know, but...

I won't put that on you. I'll try.

I'm just so happy that you're back. That's what I should focus on.

You know... I haven't forgiven Reiner. I don't think I ever will. But I've accepted him as he is, and I care about him all the same.

Do you think you could try to do that? Don't put forgiveness on yourself. Just try to accept who you are.

Edited 2023-12-16 05:04 (UTC)

[Marco's always had a way with words. So has Armin, but his have so often been words of manipulation at worst, cold strategy at best. Marco's are words of inspiration. Of course he hasn't forgiven Reiner. Armin feels as though he has, but...maybe that's just acceptance in the end too.]

You make a lot of sense.

[The difference being, of course, that Armin doesn't care about himself at all, really. He's far too busy caring about everyone - and anyone - else.]

I'll try. Truly, I will.

Thank you, Marco.

You're welcome, Armin.

Now! The next time we talk it'll be about something more fun - like flowers and swords, okay?

Agreed. :)

I look forward to it.

[Jean starts with preparing the needed tools and stations and making sure the fire keeps getting stronger and hotter. It needed to be at a very high temperature, after all. He had the necessary steel to make the sword, there, too, but before he starts doing anything with it, he comes over to see what Marco picked.]

That's probably the one I would have chosen, in the end. It gives you both more width and length for the sword, but remains similar to the one you've practiced with.

[He takes another sip of the iced tea before putting it on the table for later.]

The fire's ready soon, which means I can get started.

I never thought I'd be training with an actual, proper sword, you know.

[ Marco remarks on it cheerfully, turning to watch Jean as he heads towards the forge. ]

The blades on the ODM gear were hard enough to get used to when you're used to a rake and plow... Now itt feels almost like something out of a fantasy story.

[Jean nods at what Marco's saying.]

Yeah, it's a completely different feeling. Mikasa and I didn't have our gear on Avalon, so learning how to use a sword was important. Especially for me, since I didn't have an offensive kind of magic.

[Even if he did learn how to use animal magic offensively, in the long run. It sort of altered his fighting style. Made him a little more reckless.]

Oh... there's something called 'Trust' or 'Soul Weapons' that can be done in pairs. We can't choose who gets a weapon, but with luck, it might be you getting more options. Basically, one of us becomes a vessel for the other, who carries their weapon magically inside themselves. You just need to have absolute trust with your partner.

[Which shouldn't be a problem with them.]

Avalon... that's the world with the knights, right? So it really was like something out of a fantasy.

[ He smiles, proud at remembering the information, and when Jean mentions trust weapons he blinks and looks bashful. ]

Oh, wow. I know we trust each other that much, but it's still flattering to hear. It could open up options for either of us.

On 12/24, a delivery is made by a Fairy service.

There are two presents from Jean. One is a big magically reinforced package that says "Gear Blades for when you need them" that has, like the name suggests, ODM gear blades, made with different steel than their normal ones are. The note attached to the package says they're good against monsters in this world and are more durable. It also says that he can make more later, if necessary.

The second package is smaller, but still rather big. It's the two-handed sword Jean has been working on, and his spare Floating Cape (with instructions on how to use it). There's also an invitation to come eat dinner with Jean and Mikasa during holidays.

The card simply says: "Happy Holidays from Jean"

OOC note: You know the deal with the sword, have fun choosing what it looks like etc.

Edited 2023-12-21 17:59 (UTC)

[ On the Solstice, a package appears on Marco's doorstep. It contains a Tentacle Rescue in its own dedicated storage bag. There is also a photograph taken with a Memory Camera; it shows Marco and Jean laughing together as Cadets.

A note accompanies the package, written in Reiner's neat (Eldian) script: ]

Marco,

The photograph was taken with a Memory Camera. I thought you might want one from that time period.

The tentacle thing is called a Tentacle Rescue. It's a weird-looking rope that's actually really useful. It'll latch onto anything (even stuff our gear can't!) and hold onto you so you don't fall. The only downside is that it's clingy and doesn't realize when you don't need it to hang onto you. Just nudge it back if it starts climbing your leg or something.

- Reiner

Edited 2023-12-22 03:11 (UTC)

[A wrapped box with one weird little moth guy plushie enclosed.]

You wanted something that reminded me of home, and this little guy looks kind of like one of the Abnormalities I used to work with. But cuter and softer. -Evangeline

Yeah. The world was full of magic, fae and even royalty. It was really weird at first, to try and fit in.

[It was different from Empatheias, too. Yet they managed to fit in, and Jean even became a knight.

Jean grins at Marco.]

Then we should go to one of the guilds at some point. They have some of the swords in stone they use in their backyards.

[Hijikata wants to return Marco's generous holiday surprise, so he finds out where he lives from Jean, and a couple of days later Marco will come home to a little wrapped box containing a Perfect Temperature potion, a Spread Stick, and a Companion Brooch, along with a festive card.]

Marco,

Thank you for your thoughtful presents. I've really been enjoying them (regards from my mentee whom I shared the cookies with, too). It's impressive that you can already make whole gemstones! If I were an autumn power holder, I'd probably only focus on making the ground break open.

[That's not ominous at all, right... maybe he should have included some more context?]

The Perfect Temperature potion will keep you from suffering in the heat or cold of the Segments. The Spread Stick will infinitely spread whichever condiment you touch with it - very good to have in an emergency! The Companion Brooch is only for decoration. I wish you and your loved ones happy holidays.

Toshirou Hijikata

Really? You, not fitting in with royalty?

[ It's said in a tone of good-natured teasing. Yeah, Jean had never been dedicated to the King like Marco's father had taught him, but he still would have bet on Jean being able to fool some nobles. ]

Hm... will any of them work? I know Sawyer is still missing, so I've been visiting the other Guilds instead...

Oh, shut it.

[Jean does laugh. It's rather ironic that he ended up serving the King in Avalon. Not what he ever expected to happen.

Marco would have made a good knight.]

Yeah, we could even go to a guild completely unrelated to either of us. [He frowns, then, thoughts going back to the Autumn guild situation.] What did you think about the video about Sawyer?

[ Marco would have made a great knight. ~~Alas the mun apped and dropped Noctis.~~

He nods when Jean confirms they can go to any guild. That's good, at least they don't have to stick to one or the other. Jean's question, though, has him frowning a little bit as well. ]

... I don't know what they found that would indicate Sawyer was behind the portals.

[ He speaks carefully, as if unsure he should disbelieve Nightwake's enforcers, but also because he hasn't seen anything to indicate Sawyer despite being new, and now he knows better than to trust someone at their word. ]

But I also think if he was behind them, he would have had no problem hurting someone to get away. Nobody got seriously hurt that I saw, it was all bruises. No worse than training would be.

[~~Noctic went fishing and was never seen again.~~

Jean focuses a little on getting the sword started as he thinks for a moment. Then he nods.]

His actions definitely didn't look like someone's who's guilty. From what I know, he's always been a little reluctant to do anything the other guild leaders do, but he doesn't seem evil. More like a brat, if anything.

[This is all based on what he's heard about him from various sources. He hadn't really met Sawyer, personally.]

Lazy, not malicious, like what people at the guild say.

[ And that's honestly the people who probably see him the most, outside of people like Olwen, he assumes. ]

Obviously I want to trust that the police aren't wrong either, but...

[ He shrugs. He's heard a lot about the Military Police back home that make him naturally dubious of the ones here now. ]

It's hard to make a call either way.

[Haha, yeah, trusting the police straight away is kind of hard to do after everything the MP did back home. Though...]

I should probably talk to Hijikata or Dojima and see what they think. They're both part of the law enforcement.

[He probably hadn't mentioned Dojima a lot, maybe in passing. A tired, rough around the edges policeman who he's been occasionally interacting with.]

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