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[sunspotted]

INBOX (UN: MARCO.BOTT) text / audio / video / action / nsfw Uh - this is Marco - Marco Bott! I'll get back in touch as soon as I can! code credit

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[sunspotted]

If it isn't the cruelest, it's still one of the crueler ones.

[ Oh, but this - his sweet friend. Armin was made for knowledge, for taking pictures, for playing in the ocean. He's not someone who should have been made to fight a war, to cut himself into cruel shapes until he could be a better soldier. ]

Armin. You don't have to apologize. You can talk to me about this.

I know Jean doesn't want to know what happens in the future. I do - even if it's terrible and cruel. If that's something I can do here, to help you bear the burden, I want to. Please. Even if it's just listening to you talk about it.

[rollcharisma]

That's kind of you, Marco.

[And of course it is. This is Marco he's talking about. Still, Armin has learned to keep what's inside inside, and only show the outside what's safe to present. He wasn't always this way. He wasn't always such a liar. But he is now. He's had to be. Marco says what he says, and Armin believes that he means it; what he doesn't believe is that Marco realizes what a true monster Armin has become, will always be. He doesn't want Marco to see him that way.]

I wish I didn't have to tell you those terrible, cruel things, Marco. I wish there were only good things to tell you.

You had such high hopes for the future. I think we all failed you.

[sunspotted]

[ Marco knows that a lot of his friends have changed, and done things they're not proud of. Soon, he'll learn how bad and how far it goes, and Armin will be right; it will be worse than he thought. ]

I can understand that you wish you had better news. I've mentioned before I have to be the one to have hope.

I don't think any of you failed me, because... because I don't think you all should be trying to live up some ideal that I had. I told Jean I was happy he carried my memory with him, and I do mean that... but I'm just me. You don't have to live up to my dreams.

[rollcharisma]

I wanted too, Marco. Because I love you.

We all did. Because we all do.

me: HE SAID HE LOVES HIIIM

[sunspotted]

[ Why does that choke him up so much? He knows they all love him, at the very least platonically. If they didn't, they wouldn't still be carrying him this many years later.

It still feels nice to hear, though. ]

I love you too. All of you.

I suppose it'd be cruel of me to tell you not to if it's what you want... but please don't feel guilt if you don't live up to it.

[rollcharisma]

I have a lot of guilt, Marco. For a lot of things.

[It's unbelievable. It's unbearable. It's all-consuming.]

Whether I can forgive myself for any of it, I don't know, but...

I won't put that on you. I'll try.

I'm just so happy that you're back. That's what I should focus on.

[sunspotted]

You know... I haven't forgiven Reiner. I don't think I ever will. But I've accepted him as he is, and I care about him all the same.

Do you think you could try to do that? Don't put forgiveness on yourself. Just try to accept who you are.

[rollcharisma]

[Marco's always had a way with words. So has Armin, but his have so often been words of manipulation at worst, cold strategy at best. Marco's are words of inspiration. Of course he hasn't forgiven Reiner. Armin feels as though he has, but...maybe that's just acceptance in the end too.]

You make a lot of sense.

[The difference being, of course, that Armin doesn't care about himself at all, really. He's far too busy caring about everyone - and anyone - else.]

I'll try. Truly, I will.

Thank you, Marco.

[sunspotted]

You're welcome, Armin.

Now! The next time we talk it'll be about something more fun - like flowers and swords, okay?

[rollcharisma]

Agreed. :)

I look forward to it.